The No Chance Saloon is pleased to offer Shotgun Weddings and Shotgun Divorces!

These services are the first of their kind at Nowhere and so far as we can tell it's the only and if it ain't the only then it sure at shit is the best!

Come by the Saloon any time day or night and ask for a Shotgun Wedding and a Justice of the Peace (or Miss Whoretta Synn herself) will officiate your wedding.
Our weddings are better than those death-til-you-do-part numbers they offer down at the chapel, no sirree – our weddings are valid only for the duration of the event! No need to worry about meeting the folks or down payments on a house or any of that serious business better left to the really married folk. We even have gun-slingers that would be honoured to serve as a witnesses provided your barter skills are up to snuff. We don't guarantee but are pretty dang sure we can have you hitched in under 10 minutes.

And if the duration of the event is still too much for some of you commitment phobes then we kindly offer the Shotgun Divorce service. Come by the Saloon with your Shotgun Wedding License in hand and tell the barman you want a Shotgun Divorce. Your license will be tore up and each of ya will chew on a half and then on our directive you'll spit that dang thing as doggone far as you can. Which ever one of ya spits* the farthest gets half of the other one's possessions**!

*In the interests of LNT, y'all gotta pick up your spit balls and chuck 'em in our bin!
**If you disagree with this judgement the barman can provide you with water pistols and the two of you can sort it out your dang selves.